60 feels burned out, so the pan is off the heat. Pressure is falling.
60 feels like empty mind, turtle mind.
Mercury transformed into lead.
Mercury transformed into lead.
60 feels like yeah, still no room for bullshit but I’m not pushing
the great river forward. I’ll stay out of your way.
Time has become late summer river before the fall rains.
the great river forward. I’ll stay out of your way.
Time has become late summer river before the fall rains.
60 feels like I’ve settled firmly, sometimes peaceful
pretty passive, and is grieving the withering blossom
60 is grappling with illness, loss of energy, strength, smarts and
passion.
60 is a solar system away from 30 and a different planet from 50
when vitality and smarts were at my beck and call.
60 feels like sexual love is a velvet lined jewelry box.
Its lid shut and collecting dust.
The treasure trove of Eros did its job and is on to other projects.
Its lid shut and collecting dust.
The treasure trove of Eros did its job and is on to other projects.
60 still feels a devotion to beauty is what keeps me Alive, sane
and connected to this tragic, comic, beautiful world.
and connected to this tragic, comic, beautiful world.
60 feels alien. I don’t recognize the woman In the mirror
or the one struggling to function.
60 feels like good enough for now is a blessing
Because it would be beyond me to change it.
60 feels like her old professional persona no longer matters,
really isn’t interested in any of that, any more. It was a good run.
60 feels so regular its invisible on the outside and vaporizing
on the inside, unable to fully engage the outer world.
Both inner and outer selves are receding.
on the inside, unable to fully engage the outer world.
Both inner and outer selves are receding.
60 feels like it’s OK that it has been what it was and is what it is
And it’s necessary to grieve or be glad for what wasn’t or isn’t
and after grieving, I’m still glad
to live and love as best I can.
60 feels like there are patterns that repeat over and over
In the great mystery of all everything and sees we are destined
to forget, repeat, remember, repeat, forget, repeat, remember repeat …
60 is learning new things in the dance with destiny And never
thought 60 would be like this. Thought 60 and 70 would be like 50.
thought 60 would be like this. Thought 60 and 70 would be like 50.
60 is sitting out the dance and instead of watching from the sidelines,
Is looking out the window and has a softer view of consciousness
60 is grateful for friends who are still older and wiser
And now the younger friends are wiser too.
60 is still OK playing the fool but it’s all the time, not just now and
then.
There is shame in my own disapproval, till self-kindness arrives.
60 hasn’t played much in the last couple of years. It takes energy.
So when she does, It brings deep,
great - joy.
60 still feels that humans personify God and that that’s where mistakes
have been made. But our projections are the best and all we have
for evidence. Barring of course the innate intelligence of all nature,
the Universe
for evidence. Barring of course the innate intelligence of all nature,
the Universe
60 still feels the truth is recognizable but in the last 5 years saw
how long it took to see it. Even older and wiser we cling
to what we’d rather have
how long it took to see it. Even older and wiser we cling
to what we’d rather have
60 has been around but knows the revolution
Is slowing down. Only so many seasons left.
Is slowing down. Only so many seasons left.
60 know that ego concerns made our life in the outer world
make sense, were necessary for survival and thriving.
They are “the clinging”.
make sense, were necessary for survival and thriving.
They are “the clinging”.
60 still knows the body is only in this world briefly. A life –
whether well or horribly lived only remembered by the living
for a couple generations. Lemmings over a cliff.
for a couple generations. Lemmings over a cliff.
60 is realizing that this moment and day are what matter most.
Its where destiny and love intersect.
It’s the only time
when you can actually do anything and the only time you are as
fully alive as you are. There may not be better,
more fully alive days or hours
fully alive as you are. There may not be better,
more fully alive days or hours
60 is grateful for the support of others, needs it more than she
ever did before. Knows full well, everything she has –
shelter, food, all of it, is a state of grace.
ever did before. Knows full well, everything she has –
shelter, food, all of it, is a state of grace.
Some of it was hard earned and some of it a gift.
60 struggles with being robbed early of the resources t
he vitality to give back more.
he vitality to give back more.
60 remains hopeful that she can recover some or all to be
able to further my dear young ones better than I can right now.
able to further my dear young ones better than I can right now.
60 would aspire to have a showy fall bloom and ample harvest
before eternal winter arrives. To celebrate all that has made my life
so incredible, in some creative, inspiring way.
before eternal winter arrives. To celebrate all that has made my life
so incredible, in some creative, inspiring way.
60 has reasons to live and heal If it’s my fate, or God’s will.
Mine is all there.
Cynthia Hennard, June 18, 2017
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